One thing we were never told as a child was that our memories will always linger for ever so far as we are still alive .  

One reason we are told or always told to enjoy and have fun while we can , cause some days never come back  
And most times no more chances to do those things that we used to love doing . Not like no chances but we grow out on some of those things and give room for new things . 

I'm sitting here in my room with my home outfit , just finished eating rice with stew and have been listening to music since I woke up . But some songs just bring back some beautiful and well spent moments with people we once called lovers , friends and loved ones .
It’s strange how we meet people , find a connection , become very close and most times unbreakable and then boom , we become strangers all over again . Like total strangers , like we’ve never met before . The Circle keeps going on and on and I’ve come to take it as it is . It’s okay as it’s not everyone who’s supposed to be with you on this journey called life . 

These days I’m even way too scared to meet new people because somehow we will become strangers and it will now all be a memory . I have way too many memories and sometimes I wish I never remembered or have a flashback of some memories but , what’s life without them? Some memories put smiles on your face , while some , you just wished they never happened 😔 and those ones hurt so bad . 

some secondary school memories 🥰🥰 that's one memories I would love to experience again , it was fun , beautiful, annoying , but in all of it my secondary school memories (junior secondary) still remains my best memory lane . I always want to have it all up in my head . My first time being in a boarding school , my first time being bullied , although I got bullied almost at every given chance , my being a bully these days , 😂 yes I was a small bully and would bully my younger juniors 😂 . The days where we formed songs for seniors and teachers 🥰, the days of being a prayer warrior oh yes I miss praying like that , sometimes I wish I could go back to that life but I’m not going to lie to you . Had lots of memories in my junior secondary school (TISS) , some ugly memories that I wish I could take back the hands of time to make some corrections but hey we move 😂😊. But they were lots of fun times , and I miss every single classmate of mine as at that time and still wish I could meet with all of them someday 😊

But , my senior secondary school days were days where I had to learn to enjoy my own company and make friends with myself .  It was not easy always feeling like you’re the problem . I was the problem at some time but not all the time . I got deboarded from school , and that’s when I realized I barely had friends and the people I actually called my friends never saw me as their friend.  It was crazy , I always wanted to be part of a clique, but it turned out I was forcing the energy and vibe and I had to just learn to stay alone and move alone . It was not easy , one of the hardest pills anyone can take . 

But doing the lonely walk taught me a lot and made me realize what life was and is all about . Sometimes it gets beautiful 🤩 sometimes it’s get to sad 😔 that you would want to have all the company you need but you won’t just be able to get them , you learn to be your own company , your own friend , your own adviser. 

Not sad I feel this way , I love that I still have some memories stuck up in my head . Memories are beautiful 🤩, sad 😔 but above all build sweet and lovely ☺️ memories while you can . 
I hope you enjoyed my little ted talk…………… *KiKa* 


Memories 

I swear if I were to be told what pain felt like , not sure I would have ever understood it 🥺. I don’t know how you people move on from heartbreak from knowing that the one person you once could not stay without is now a total stranger to you . You can’t call him, you can’t reach him, he does not want to talk to you not anymore . 
He cuts ties with you like there were never feelings . Gosh this is what pain feels like . It pierced through your heart and maaan you can feel it from the inside how your heart tears with so much blood stain on it . 
I bet I still have fantasies in my head that we will meet someday and be friends again.  
I want to at least know that you are alive and leaving well . I want to know that you’re winning . Yes we don’t have to talk but i want to see you high up there leaving those dreams of yours and having that life you’ve always wanted to live . It is really painful , it feels like death to me . It’s really painful to know that I would never be able to reach you again . You’re not dead but that’s how it feels to me . 

I miss you and I pick up my phone ; wanting to call you but I just can’t dial your number 🥺🥺. I dial it but I don’t expect you to answer me . Because you won’t and will never 🥺🥺

People don’t talk about this part of their heart breaks . How they struggle to live with the pain knowing that the one time love of your life is now a stranger to you . You guys don’t talk , you don’t even call not to check up on each other . It’s tough to deal with this . 
I want to completely heal so I can focus !!!! Focus!!!!! . 

Man I’m not going to lie I miss you 😢 it’s hard to believe that it’s finally over 🥺🥺 thumbs up man . It was nice having been a part of my journey . The last time I felt this way was in my junior secondary 😌 I wanna feel this way again 😊 I wanna love again 

And I’ll never stop being a sweet girl because that’s what I’ve always been and you know 🥺: . I didn't even get to say a proper GOODBYEbut still it’s still Goodbye 🥺🥺


PaiN

Just like that , the people you could not stay a day without calling , or wanting to see , just like that , they  have now become strangers ::::::::: you’ve fallen out with lots of people and you sit to wonder why relationships don’t seem to ever work out . 

Your one time love of your life now becomes a person you can’t reach or talk to whenever you’re down and sober and really want to vent . 😔 it’s difficult 😥 living like this . 

I just feel we torture ourselves too much ,  But we can’t help ourselves, can we? We are humans and we are bound to make mistakes and even fail but never give up cause the clock never stops ticking .

But how do you live with all these emotions ravaging inside you and making you have sleepless night and an unending thoughts 💭 
How do you get so attached to someone that it’s so difficult to let go even when the person has moved on completely 😔 it’s sad isn’t it ? So sad that you now realize that you were the only person getting attached and that the other person was just enjoying the times while it lasted . How friends totally become strangers is what marvels me and above all how people allow their emotions to take full control over them . 

I really want to call you 😔 I want to hear you speaking to me 😔 just tell me how much you love me 😔 that’s how badly I miss you . But I’ll learn to live with it . It was good while it lasted , it just hurts me that you’re now part of my memories and will remain as memories , that I’ll have to continue my journey without you inside😔:::::::::: it’s been a year and I still feel this way towards you 😔 yes I was wrong but you never tried to make us work , it’s more like you were never in for it , you were just there for the fun of it . That’s why you found a replacement so quickly and moved on 😔 I was never part of your priorities. It hurts but it’s good 😌 I say these truths to myself . Because all I could remember is the pain after the pleasure that I always feel and made me question my own self worth. You never spent a year with her when you already started buying her gifts and even inviting her over to your place to even meet with your dad and even attend your family functions . 

You replaced me so quickly like I never existed and that’s what hurts me the most . And I made a fool out of myself when I thought that I could make it all work no matter what happened and never for once cared about my own self ::::::::::::::::: I don’t regret it at all but I’m happy that you’re happy 😊 

It was good having you be part of my life and you’ll always be missed by me but I have to move on . I have to embrace it and live with it. And I’ll always be happy for you and be rooting for you to be immensely successful in life and live all your dreams whilst making them a reality come true . 

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
That’s what life gives us most of the time . This moment you’re fine and the next moment you’ll be seen battling with lots of things which causes daily anxiety 😥 

Friends becomes foes and lovers becoming strangers 😔😥
And so on 🥺 yet they say life is easy , oh common it’s not as easy as they say most times especially , when you got use to always having it easy and parents made it so too . Now , you have to struggle to get what you truly want 😔 a roller coaster I’ll call it . 


Ante Comfort (Kohziee)

Memories

PaiN

The Anniversary 💔