I’ve never been in control of anything…

I was 4 when I lost control of my life, I remember the much I can, it was traumatizing or rather addictive. I don’t know when but it was one beautiful afternoon I was home alone with the maid who was about 18 herself. I stayed with her in the kitchen while she prepared lunch. We were both tired so she put me to rest and got in the shower. All I remember was a soft whisper in my ear she told me I was little and beautiful before she gagged me with my shirt she already took off. Then I realized I was naked and tied to my bed. She did all sorts of things to me, went down on me, and massaged my nipples until they hurt so badly. Strangled me while she opened my legs and sat between (scissor) as she pleasured herself away. She warned me not to tell mom or Dad or anyone around and what did I know, I didn’t. Of course, mom noticed but I hid the truth from her.

The fourth time was not as painful as the first and as time grew I enjoyed and looked forward to it. She did all sorts of things to me, painful wicked things. One day a friend of hers came over I guess I was already 6 then. That was the only day I was in control but just for a while. They both had their way with me, they took turns and rounded up together. I was hurt and helpless. It wasn’t long before I had this strange infection and mom found out. She grew so mad and told Dad who sent her away but unknown to him the damage had already been done.

Years passed I did shit to myself, as a child who had no control over the hormones that were brought alive very early. I did things a lot of things you can’t imagine. Mom had her cousins come stay with us. I was 9 at this time and could not handle the chores on my own. They were Scholar and Cowell.

Oh! Cowell made me tremble, I don’t remember how it all started but I was his tool. At first I was scared because I’ve never had this side of the table. Scholar was an accomplice to all that happened, although she was never in the room but she was always on the lookout. He tied me to the bed, spanked me so hard, tore my legs apart and plunged into me. As usual I did not say a word not because he warned me not to but because I did not want to.

I was dominated, never in charge even if I want to be, I did not know how to. At an early age I was always looking forward to getting tied up and fiddled with. When Cowell was not around I had this fantasy when I locked my room and did things to myself. I would imagine he was doing all those things to me. My neck my toe felt him when he was not even there.

I grew up and with time Scholar and Cowell moved back to their parents. I was just alone, a social outcast. I did not want to relate with my peers because I felt they could never satisfy me and there was no reason to. I grew fond of myself, whenever I was alone either my hormones were burning up or I was having this fantasy about Cowell.
It took me a lot to get over my addiction, it was part of my life I could not go a day without doing things to myself at least three times. I can say I’m in control of myself now. But I hope this answers the questions that run through your mind when I tell you I want to be dominated.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never been abused, harassed or whatever the legal minds would call it. I was only dominated because I never really was in charge. Now you know why I hate responsibilities.

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My childhood was nothing like this story. Or was it?
Oh I'm just kidding it's fiction. Or not?
You decide.