Rebirth: A little too early

I'm finally here. Or so, I think.
In my moment of dishabille,
Everything seems oddly familiar:
The cheery chatters,
The peering parents,
Not to mention the weird noise that I expel.
This is more than déjà vu.
It is my lifetime routine.
I arrive.
But only to depart so I can re-arrive.
Although I want to stay,
I'm not ready to be here.
I'm never ready.
So I glance quickly across the room,
At the soon-to-be-sad faces.
And I go silent as I deliver a chilling smile.
Then my face pales as my heart gradually comes to a halt.
It's time to say goodbye.
Again.

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