Diary of a emiotionally distant nerd with a crappy and mostly depressing love life.
3 min read
'Ex-mas' Nostalgia

I’ve always believed in Santa,

In a different way from the kids;

I believe Santa is the deity responsible for the glee and euphoria that comes with Christmas; not just wrapped gifts and candies.

The weather, the new friends, the one night stands to alleviate your depression, the good times, the free beer and intoxication to help you forget the failures of the year; That was Santa!

In short, Santa brings the Merry to the Christmas.

But Santa has been disappointing me lately;

Last year he sent Amaka, the “Hoe Hoe Hoe” But I sent her back to him. Lol.

This year, as appetizer, Santa sent Cold, but he didn’t send warmth. Now I’m lying on my bed in this severe harmattan, with not enough duvet to provide the warmth I deserve and my pet Amber now has her own puppies to provide warmth for. Weather for two, but I’m running on “minus 1”. It’s so unfair but it’s not all Santa is serving...

After the appetizer came the main course – a hot plate of ‘Ex-mas’ nostalgia. I’m still on my bed, freezing, and thinking if one of the mischievous gods from Santa’s pantheon must have hacked his operating system. The Santa I know is a nice guy but this one is doing the most to make me miss my ex.

Still on my bed but taken to a different aura of thought by the pang of nostalgia that hit me; I’m forced to remember the good times that my heart was forced to forget in order to move on. Honestly, we had the best time together and I haven’t had a ‘next’ as good as she was and hopefully, neither has she.

The last time we spoke on phone, we could still hear each other’s heartbeats, we still remembered each other’s schedule, the old jokes were still funny and we made each other laugh like we were kids again.

...•Unlocks Phone

...•Navigates to Instagram

...•Searches for Ex, Finds ex. – She’s happy but she’s still single, hmm.

...•Opens Ex DM – ME: “Just thought about you, I kinda miss you”

...•After Long, sizzling conversation – EX: “You said you wanted to tell me something, I’m listening”

...•ME: "Oh, almost forgot"

...•Starts Typing…

You know, Christmas was really a Season of Love when I had you; now it’s just harmattan and nostalgia for the magical moments we shared. We had so much love, it was enough to start love business. TBH, I had the best Christmas holidays with you, we didn’t have to wait till new year’s eve to see fireworks, we made them, together, every darn night!

The other day my siblings were decorating the house and I just kept smiling cos that was what you did to my life before you left; now I’m that old house in the neighbourhood that neither has lights nor decorations for Christmas.

Yes, you were my light but I wasn’t satisfied because you flickered every now and then but now I realize that that’s what Christmas lights do, they flicker, and the flickering makes it beautiful.

Looks like Santa is serving a three course meal this year, the dessert hasn’t come yet, but I hope it's you.

...•Deletes all the text

...•ME: ”Nothing serious tho, just wanted to say Merry Christmas in advance, TTYL, Ciao! 👋”

...•Clicks SEND!

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