Love my fairytale 

‘’they say you don’t tell your heart who to love but why didn’t my heart tell me not to love you’’

Beau_saze

‘’I’m a woman, hear me roar in numbers too big to ignore”

Helen Reddy (I’m a woman)

I thought you were my Romeo and I was your Juliet

I thought we were real life’s Edward and Bella, how she has his heart forever.

You said we were inseparable as Cleopatra and Mark Anthony.

I believed our hearts were twisted with an unbreakable twine. I always dreamed of how I would tell our children about our love story.

Like a fool I let you play me over and over again. Invested so much in our relationship, my time, my money, I invested my all. I remember all those nights I stayed up late listening to you complain about a work day. I cooked for you, cleaned after you, nursed you to health the times you fell ill. Yet you made me feel I wasn’t giving enough. You wanted my body and I gave it too. It was yours to take anytime you wanted it. What did you do with me?! You made my body a storehouse of STDs and STIs.

Even still you wanted more and I gave you my monthly allowance I got from my parents (I was a student at that time) and you still complained, you were never satisfied. I hoped you would change, I hoped you would come back to me, the man I fell in love with. Each day that man drifted farther from me.

I am not done saying all you did to me. You crushed me emotionally. What insult did I not hear? You called me fat, ugly and dumb. You told me I made you miserable because I was too slow. You made me believe that being with you was a privilege. You treated me as trash until I felt like trash.

You hit me. I remember the first time it happened, I threatened to leave you. You begged me and promised that it would not happen again. You said “it was the devil’s handwork”, “I don’t know what came over me babe”. You said it was a ‘’mistake’’ right? You said you loved me. After a while the apologies sounded like a broken record because I had heard it a lot of time. I would reply “stop saying sorry, just stop doing”. On the long run you stopped apologizing, you told me you hit me because you loved me. I remember all the scars I had to lie about, all the black eye I had to cover with extra makeup. You instructed me to stop contact with close friends and family because according to you they were “too nosy”.

In spite of all the odds I survived. I got the courage to leave you. I got a life of my own. I survived! I was finally healthy (emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically and any other way a human can be healthy) or so I thought when you came begging again. Like a fool I believed you after all the hurt, stupid I know, you told me that you changed. I loved, I always have. You deceived me again, you slimy, dexterously (I hope I’m using the word right), bastardy nonentity!!! Psychopath! I wish I could scream all these out, but then I would have a black eye for such a comment on your personality.

How do you manage to do it? Look so good and cool and perfect before the whole world. The devil has a higher chance of getting into heaven than you do. You hypocrite!!

They say women are emotional beings and so irrational when they love, but I was plainly stupid. You fed on my stupidity and enjoyed my naivety. As I lie in the ER waiting for my death, I curse you with my being and the last of my breath. Scrap that I bless you with my last breath and I pray that you meet the One who enabled me bless instead of curse.

Signed,

Battered lady.

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To those who read this story; RUN!! FLEE!! Don’t entertain any form of disrespect from anybody not even from yourself.